had a busy hectic wkend.but i like it.ha.felt the wkends were so meaningful.not wasted at all.its been 2 mths plus ive worked in hsbc.time flies.and work gets more boring.ha.really hope i can get into GCSholdings whr fasihah is working nw and gets to travel ard!thats the only best part.haha.working in pub also helps me widen my circle of friends or rather connections.haha.life is still not too bad for me so far.one more mth to pay off the full debt.whoo-hoo~
today is fufilling.went to shape 5km run this morning.i tot i was going to miss it.cos am late.ha.but still managed to complete it with satisfaction though i yet to know the timing.haa..den went to help out in karin's event.doing the duck mascot.quite fun.though its damn tiring.haha.went to do facial after work.damn shag.finally am home now.yah!haha.goiong to bed soon...im loving it``whoooooo!
9:12 PM
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
feeling very lonely...im in deep trouble...but no one was by me.none of my close friends bother to call or sms me to ask how i was.who are really my friends?or do i have any?why am i feeling so lonely.why do i need to call up and asked for consolation instead.am feeling miserable inside me.as long as theres someone closed to me care for me is enuff.but none.called and sms-ed andy alot of times but no reply.he didnt even bother to call me back either.whats happening.why everyone is treating me this way.is this a hard way for me to really grow stronger and stand on my own feet?im feeling very empty inside me.how i wish theres someone worrying and caring about me...so far i know..theres no one.the waiting of eddie's return to teach me martial arts is dying off...maybe he doesnt want to teach me anymore.maybe he has a gf now?feeling very lonely..................is there anyone out there?who can offer to give me a call and show concern...i appreciate wenrong who did that.but where are my closer ones...am i not someone impt at all?.....maybe im not...becos i realised when im in deep trouble..no one is ever there..........................my heart is tearing....but who cares....
Yit's time to be a big girl now
12:45 AM
12:45 AM
Monday, July 16, 2007
i miss him....alot....how i wish he was by my side...supporting me...but thats my wishful thinking part.he wont even be by my side,he may just give me a good scolding and all the naggings...but i dont mind...the only thing now to keep me moving is to undergo trainings and learn my martial arts...i sincerely want to learn and never did i mentioned i will give up...but where the hell is he...is he abandoning me..?
i always have faith in god.strongly believes that god is just giving me tests of life.yes.though the obstacles i went thru each time is so painful...it did toughens me up in some way.im grateful...but...why am i always learning the hard way?am my character tat stubbon?which needs all these difficult obstacles in life to shape and build up good character?i also strongly believes that a successful person will need to go thru alot more so to gain a deeper understanding of life experiences which leads to deep thinking and serious consideration whenever making a decision or a move.strategy thinking?but...am i going on the right path to become a successful person?can i be one?im willing to go thru all these in order to be one successful and happy person.god..can you grant me this wish?this time,this pain is too much to bear.yes im lucky enough not to get caught by police.and realised that this pain is much painful than my last rs.all my future savings is gone before i get to earn it.this lesson learnt is indeed a price to pay.typed till half way.dad came to have a talk with me.i felt much better.what he says really gets into me.things can get alot more serious if things happened the other way.till then,he says...though we are not rich...after wad had happened..make sure u go n think deep abt it...money can be earned back..but if the grandpa n grandma die...or seriously injured..money is not the only price ui hav to pay for learning this lession...its police record...jail...big lump sum of bill that we cannot even pay off...and ur future...appreciate it...i finally realised the meaning of...no matter what happens,parents will still be the one helping/supporting you.i can feel that now.after so many things that had happened.thanks mom n dad...
i will learn to smile and move on...i dont want to cock up my life again.i need to work hard.no use thinking back...
Yit's time to be a big girl now
10:39 PM
YOU KNOW YOU CAN!SO WHY NOT?!
Yit's time to be a big girl now
11:43 PM
Yit's time to be a big girl now
9:36 AM
Yit's time to be a big girl now
11:54 PM
Yit's time to be a big girl now
11:15 AM
my LIFE!
my GOAL!I WANT
grow long hair - be PREETEH
achieve 2Ps in HSBC - GOOD peer appraisal & performance
scrambler - WILD ride with friends
save 3000 by end of year
holiday by end of year
master & excel in martial arts - be a FIGHTER
be FIT and TONED - look GOOD & CONFIDENT
learn the whole dictionary within 3 months
brushes 03
image 04
i always have faith in god.strongly believes that god is just giving me tests of life.yes.though the obstacles i went thru each time is so painful...it did toughens me up in some way.im grateful...but...why am i always learning the hard way?am my character tat stubbon?which needs all these difficult obstacles in life to shape and build up good character?i also strongly believes that a successful person will need to go thru alot more so to gain a deeper understanding of life experiences which leads to deep thinking and serious consideration whenever making a decision or a move.strategy thinking?but...am i going on the right path to become a successful person?can i be one?im willing to go thru all these in order to be one successful and happy person.god..can you grant me this wish?this time,this pain is too much to bear.yes im lucky enough not to get caught by police.and realised that this pain is much painful than my last rs.all my future savings is gone before i get to earn it.this lesson learnt is indeed a price to pay.typed till half way.dad came to have a talk with me.i felt much better.what he says really gets into me.things can get alot more serious if things happened the other way.till then,he says...though we are not rich...after wad had happened..make sure u go n think deep abt it...money can be earned back..but if the grandpa n grandma die...or seriously injured..money is not the only price ui hav to pay for learning this lession...its police record...jail...big lump sum of bill that we cannot even pay off...and ur future...appreciate it...i finally realised the meaning of...no matter what happens,parents will still be the one helping/supporting you.i can feel that now.after so many things that had happened.thanks mom n dad...
i will learn to smile and move on...i dont want to cock up my life again.i need to work hard.no use thinking back...
10:39 PM
Thursday, July 5, 2007
feeling so good as usual after jogging.jog for ard 45 mins.i want to be fit!look good forever!whats with me today again.the fucktup feeling is back.after all,im not that strong after all huh.been thinking while running.i realised after all, im still relying on guys!what a bitch yea.i always want to be independent and be self sufficient on my own.but why am i spiritually seeking for guys shoulders?everyone thought i was strong to overcome the failure of my last rs and be back on my feet again.and living happily on my own.yes.im single.im living on my own,but what really carries me on is because theres someone im looking out for.eddie.though i know nothing will come out btw us.i relied on him spiritually.maybe because of his age.of his life experience.i sincerely want to learn martial arts from him.i want to be an outstanding fighter.i want to be OUTSTANDING person in life!im learning to be more vocal.was restricted because of my limited vocabulary and poor sentence structure,which brings down my confidence level in communicating and have difficulties in expressing myself.i could not take it any longer.i want to be successful in life.yes.words are beautiful.actions are hard.thats why theres this phrase.NO PAIN NO GAIN.JIALING,ITS TIME FOR YOU TO TAKE ACTION AND MOVE ON TO THE BETTER QUALITY OF LIFE!!!
YOU KNOW YOU CAN!SO WHY NOT?!
11:43 PM
Sunday, July 1, 2007
been thinking about the past a little here and there these couple of days.hmmm.am i missing him?i dont know.thinking back of the happy memories really makes me smile and at the same time,my heart is breaking painfully.it still hurts quite abit.realized that my wound was actually yet to recover.hes the first guy i really fall in love with.and the guy who hurt me most deeply.why did break up end up this drastic way.yes,he indeed changed alot after break up.to someone i no longer knew.a smoker,a drinker and a clubber.is he happy leading a life like this?where is the ambitious and know what he wants guy who i have knew?
when will you asked me out for a dinner then?or you just msged me because of a sudden feeling of meeting me up.do you still miss me...i wonder.i guess the ans is no?browsing thru your friendster.theres so many girls around you now.dont think u will still place me in your heart.am no longer an important person to you.
i have been trying hard to live a better life because i dont want to be make the same mistakes again.i want to be someone people looked up to.trying to reshape my character.and thanks,i matured alot after this rs.i just want to concentrate on my career since i cant get into uni for now.
i just want to be happy and be surrounded by friends.i will be back the cheerful jia ling whom i used to be.i will.i know.
when will you asked me out for a dinner then?or you just msged me because of a sudden feeling of meeting me up.do you still miss me...i wonder.i guess the ans is no?browsing thru your friendster.theres so many girls around you now.dont think u will still place me in your heart.am no longer an important person to you.
i have been trying hard to live a better life because i dont want to be make the same mistakes again.i want to be someone people looked up to.trying to reshape my character.and thanks,i matured alot after this rs.i just want to concentrate on my career since i cant get into uni for now.
i just want to be happy and be surrounded by friends.i will be back the cheerful jia ling whom i used to be.i will.i know.
9:36 AM
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
whats wrong with you or you all?! i just want to be myself! cant i? whether im introvert or extrovert,does it matter?!as long as i do my part and perform when theres a need to.doesnt mean i cant do well in events becos im a quiet person?and hell no.im not a quiet person.i just dont feel like talking alot to certain people.yes!i agree that i have to be more vocal in front of bosses and supervisors!but what you want me to say much to CHRIS?i dont care how you all think of me!i had enough!i just want to be myself!i will react to situation accordingly.getting disappointed and frastrated with me?!i dont know whether you ppl lecturing and nagging at me, is of my own good or just pin pointing?but i always see it as positive.becos not many ppl will want to waste their saliva.but you ppl will want to waste it on me.do u ppl really care about my life?my future?i dont know.i cannot take it.IM NOT AN INTROVERT!this is for sure!!!you ppl are really getting on my nerve.CAN ALL OF YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!?i need my space!i desperately need it!im spaced out.yea am always.i have a dreaming look.shld i say the same as wad u say?blame it on the genes then!im messed up!my mind is really tired!CAN ALL OF U PLS SHUT UP!give me PEACE!i need TIME to re-plan my route!
JIA LING!what do u really WANT in LIFE? what you want TO BE? PLS HAVE AN ANSWER!
LIVING SINGAPORE CANNOT AFFORD YOU TO MAKE A BIG WRONG MOVE!
JIA LING!what do u really WANT in LIFE? what you want TO BE? PLS HAVE AN ANSWER!
LIVING SINGAPORE CANNOT AFFORD YOU TO MAKE A BIG WRONG MOVE!
11:54 PM
Sunday, June 24, 2007
had a unwind saturday yst.its been so long that i have really enjoyed the slow paced and relaxing moment. the day was fully maximized.feeling so great.hahahs.
stayed over at su yan's house on friday night after a hot fuzz movie with him and suyan.corny show.ahahs.both of us welcomed saturday morning with a lazy yawn.so tired.slept late the night before.next, we took a cab down to his condo to use the tennis court.su yan was teaching me.its cool to play tennis.but need time to master the skills.played for only a while because i was feeling dizzy to run to much as we did not have breakfast!after which,we went swimming and suntanning.then suana!couldnt stay inside for too long,i couldnt breathe properly.my stomach feel so empty.was like just eating air.hahas.den took a hot shower.shiok.hee.dressed up nice nice.next,we went shopping in town!what a well-planned programme.haha.i was so happy because i managed to spend within my 80 dollars budget which su yan set it for me.haha! i bought a rip curl back pack and 2 belts. i love it.so nice.hee.den we went for a quick bite dinner at Q bar.was going there to collect my pay.the finger food is expensive and looks pathetic!but charlie gave me 15% discount.so its not tat exp after all.phew~we headed to tasting notes after that.hahas.all around the same area.knew PS should be working, so we just popped by to say hello.we ordered a glass of dessert white wine called macarto basado from italy.it tastes very sweet,like sprite?whahaha.very nice.fav wine.su yan then ordered a dunno what tohu,forgot the name again.whahas.but taste nice anyway.we were just chilling the night away.hahas.it was 11pm,and so we decided that its time to go home.ahhas.as i was going for a mahjong session at wei's house.which was cancelled once i stepped into her house.waste my time and energy walking there.but its okays.because i really enjoyed the day.heesz.
11:15 AM
MIND OF MY OWN
my GOAL!I WANT
grow long hair - be PREETEH
achieve 2Ps in HSBC - GOOD peer appraisal & performance
scrambler - WILD ride with friends
save 3000 by end of year
holiday by end of year
master & excel in martial arts - be a FIGHTER
be FIT and TONED - look GOOD & CONFIDENT
learn the whole dictionary within 3 months
sorry.i will just mind my own biz.
trace
designer 01 02brushes 03
image 04
GET OUT
your tagboard here!